I think I started off strong with quite a few posts, but I recognize (and I imagine you do too) I haven't written a post since our footer was dug in November - YIKES!
I hope it goes without saying that our house has greatly progressed since my last post. In fact, it's nearly done! We are scheduled to move next month, and we are extremely excited about it.
So, why was the silence so prolonged? Well, until recently, I hadn't thought much about why I wasn't updating GingerSnaps more often. I wrote it off with the excuse of being busy - I just hadn't gotten the chance to post; I just didn't have the time. But after a lot of thought, I know this isn't true.
The real reason I haven't made the time to post is deeper than not reorganizing my priorities.
From the beginning of the house building process, I have been told (by both others and myself) that it was going to be remarkably stressful. And while I recognized the stress building in me during the construction, I didn't realize how poorly I was managing that stress.
I thought I was pushing it out of my mind, but what I was really doing was neglecting, surpressing, and/or avoiding every aspect of the process that stressed me out.
Frequently, over the past couple of months, I avoided or curtailed conversations about the house when Chris brought them up. I would give vague, quick answers when a co-worker or friend asked me how the house was coming along. And I never updated GingerSnaps because it would mean I'd have to think about the stress and face it head-on.
Now, this is where the issue gets a little more complicated (tired of my excuse yet?). Writing has always been like therapy for me. I have alway found it extremely cathartic since I was younger (even before I was old enough to know what cathartic meant).
I've always enjoyed pouring my stress and emotions out of myself onto paper in order to gain new perspective on the situation and take those thoughts back in (to fix, resolve, etc., any problems). Think of it like a blood transfusion. Taking out the bad and bringing in the good. In writing, I can sort thoughts out, and then organize them into little boxes, only to pack them back nearly into my mind again. Things are neater and clearer at the end of it all.
It would seem like writing would be the perfect outlet for the stress I was feeling, but there was a hold-up. Writing for this reason has one huge requirement: brutal honesty with both myself and my audience.
But that was the problem. I didn't feel like I could be honest. I've never written about such personal events in a public arena before now, so I felt hesitant about writing about what was going on, especially if there was bickering or any type of drama involved.
I think of myself as an open and honest person, but I forgot when I decided to write everything down for everyone to read I'm not the only person involved - there's Chris, his family (especially his dad), and my family. I foolishly never got everyone's OK up front to be as candid and honest as possible. Hindsight being 20/20, I should have identified my stakeholders up front and gotten the go ahead from everyone before ever starting posting to Ginger Snaps.
So, because of that, every time I tried to write, it always seemed like there wasn't anything to say - at least anything interesting. I could have (and maybe should have) posted every milestone with little detail, but it might not have been very interesting (especially if I wasn't very passionate about it). Just think about all the drama they inject into those HGTV shows - if they didn't do that, every episode would be the same and boring. No one would watch.
If I did that, it seemed (at least to me) like I was wasting your time because it wouldn't be entertaining and my time because it wouldn't be therapeutic. I'm sorry if it's a silly excuse. Once again, in hindsight, a lot of you would have preferred some so-so updates rather than none at all. And I'm sorry for that too.
As with any endeavor, this effort needed good planning, and I definitely failed in that department. One more time: Sorry.
Going forward, as we move closer to our official move-in, I'm going to try to make it up to both you and myself. Over the next couple of weeks, I'm going to do a post for each of the rooms as well as the exterior of the house, giving a synopsis of all that went on (the drama even!) during the construction and sharing with you the amazing transformation from woods to dirt to a bunch of plywood to beautiful house in just a few months.
I hope you will enjoy it even though it's so late. And in the future, I'm going to always remember the complications and limitations I discussed here to ensure I never again cut off the most amazing and least expensive therapy ever, especially during one of the most stressful times in my life.
Finally, here's a picture of the house to hold you guys over:
Thank you so much for your patience and support, and for reading!
Positoovely,
Emily
